I Wish I Was Skinnier: How to Keep That Thought Out of the Driver’s Seat

I remember when I used to wish I could be like the Gilmore Girls— impossibly thin without seeming to care about it. They ate whatever they wanted*, whenever they wanted, never gained weight, and never obsessed about it.

For Rory and Lorelai, thinness was like coolness— a thing you could have (that comes with a lot of cachet), if only you acted like it didn’t really matter to you.

I remember what it was like to long for this because it was probably yesterday morning.

My clients tell me all the time that no matter how much work they do on loving their bodies, the thought still persists: I just wish I was skinnier.

I have endless compassion for this thought that is near and dear to my own heart.

There’s a particular skill I’ve honed that's really helped me: how to have a thought without putting it in the driver's seat.

My “I just want to be skinnier” thought hangs out in the back of the car, periodically shouting directions, while my driver says “I hear you!” and keeps on doing what she’s doing.

When I try to kick the longing for thinness out of the car completely, she rebels big time and starts shouting louder and more frequently.

So instead I let myself have any and all thoughts without acting on them. Then I turn on some music and keep driving north.

With this kind of agreement, I never reach a boiling point (aka Don't make me pull this car over!!)

*A client informs me that they never actually ate on camera!