Stop hating your body: the joy of hanging out with someone who's done the work

There are a lot of advantages that come with learning how to stop hating your body.

For example, I've figured out how to:

• eat and move in ways that feel good

• be waaaaay kinder to myself (not just about how I look)

• feel more connected to my emotions and experiences

• identify my real preferences (when it comes to food but also LIFE)

But I don't think we talk enough about another big advantage: how enjoyable it can be to hang out with someone who doesn't hate their body all the time.

When I'm in a room with someone who doesn't hate their body-- I can feel it. There's a certain ease that's present.

I can see how they adjust the pillow so they can be a little more comfortable.

How they say "mmm" when they eat their food.

How they happily accept dessert. Or politely decline without a performance about "trying to be good."

I can feel how they laugh generously.

Even when things are hard there's a way they talk about themselves that feels honest without being mean.

It's also about what's NOT present that usually is-- the lack of self-shaming about eating the cookie, the lack of little comments about their messy hair or their love handles. No jokes about starting a new diet tomorrow. No mentions of laziness. Sometimes I don't notice how pervasive the talk is until I'm around people who are NOT DOING IT. What a relief.

Being around people who don't hate their bodies-- there's a sense of comfort that comes from inside of them, which then radiates out to those around them.

People have told me they can feel this when they're around me. The compassion. The ease. The comfort.

You can learn to stop hating your body too.

I don't think you have to love your body all the time to be this person. I certainly don't. I have rough days.

The good news/bad news is that in our culture the bar is set SO LOW. So many people hate their body so much of the time, that being around anyone who sometimes thinks "You know what, I'm just a human, my body might be ok!" can feel like a huge relief. Such a nice break from the usual bombardment of body shame and the endless quest to to try fix the body.

The more I connect to my own body, the more I am creating space for ease, joy and compassion to seep out into the world around me.

You can learn to do this too. It's a practice, and if you've learned other practices, then there is hope.