Sometimes I wish I ran a kitchen makeover business. Where I could say “Give me money and I will give you a new kitchen!” Then after much huffing and puffing (or sawing and nailing? What goes into a kitchen makeover??) I would unveil the new room and everyone would cry with joy. The end.
Kitchen makeovers. Linear, clean. A to Z. How I love a clear outcome.
But besides the fact that I don't know anything about kitchens (after years of living in my apartment a friend pointed out that my cabinets don't match… a fact of which I had NEVER noticed) I have also come to love the non-linear-ness of body acceptance work.
[actual image of my unmatching kitchen cabinets that I never noticed until a friend did.]
I start each session with the same question: “What’s something you’re celebrating about your body liberation journey this week?” Sometimes my clients are excited to answer; “I advocated for myself at the doctor!” “I tuned into my body and really knew what I wanted to eat!” “I wore the outfit and felt hot!” Sometimes they respond with smaller energy: “I went into a photo shame spiral but got myself out again,” “I ate one thing that tasted good.” In some sessions the transformation energy is palpable. In others, despair washes over. It is very non-linear. It follows the path exactly as it needs to. And I love it because it is honest (and it’s my experience too).
Sometimes I wish I could say “give me your troubles I will make them go away!” But it doesn’t work. So instead I say: “show me your troubles and I will sit beside you and look at them with you and create space for grief and also give you resources that might help you see things in a different way but only at the pace with which you are ready for them.” (Or.. something like that).
It is not linear or clean cut. But it is real.
This work does actually move things. Eventually my clients look back at where they've been and realize that things feel different, that there’s a lot to celebrate, and they have enough tools to keep going on their own.
So when you’re having a hard body image moment, resist the temptation to judge yourself. Lean on your tools and support systems a little harder. You’re not a kitchen, you’re a human. You’re not meant to be linear.
Love,
Talia
P.S. if you’re wanting an extra body love boost, come to the body love creative writing workshop this sunday!
P.P.S if your job is “kitchen makeovers” I apologize for simplifying your work! But also– I have cabinets that don’t match, so call me!
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