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  • Writer's pictureTalia Cooper

What Matters Most

Our values impact everything we do, whether it's conscious or not. Great days are often great because they reflect our values. Crappy days are [sometimes] crappy because the things that matter most to us (aka our values) are absent. Why am I talking about this? Because when we understand what matters most to us, then we can prioritize the things that make life good, and we are less likely to be unconsciously swayed by other people's (or culture's) values and priorities. I want you to have a life full of joy. And that's why for this holiday season I'm offering a 1-off coaching session focused on YOU and your values (to help you plan for 2022!).

The coaching session will help you gain clarity on what matters most to you, and then use that to explore a question or challenge in your life. I don't normally offer 1-off coaching sessions to the public, so this is only available until January 5th.

You can buy this coaching session for yourself or a loved one. The gift includes:

  • an e-gift certificate

  • 1 coaching session (~75 minutes)

  • a Personal Values Report and documented next steps sent post-session

  • a worksheet to dive in deeper and help you prepare for 2022

  • a follow up check-in email or text (if accountability is desired)

For the person who has everything, give the gift of coaching.

So once we know our values... what do we do with them?

We can use them to make decisions! Big decisions like:

  • Should I switch jobs?

  • How do I search for my partner?

  • Where should I focus my social change work?

Small decisions like:

  • Should I take a nap or go to dance class?

  • Should I clean the house or write a new song?

These are all examples of questions that do not have a correct moral answer (though many of us receive messages about the "correct" way to pursue careers, love, activism, exercise, and cleanliness). The answer to these questions is not about what anyone else would do. It's about what you value.

What happens when we're not in touch with our values?

When we're not in touch with our values, it becomes easy for other values to run the show- like the values of a culture.

For example: in the U.S. the dominant culture believes that:

  • If you don't have something nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all

  • Hard work is the most important

  • Thinness is within our control and has something to do with self-worth

But these might not be your values!

For example, you might value things like:

  • Self-expression over harmony

  • Rest and authenticity over hard work

  • Inherent self worth and love, over thinness-by-any-means necessary

When we are crystal clear on our own values, we are less likely to expel our precious energy pursuing the dominant values, instead of our own.

When we know what matters most to us, we have the ability to notice when other values are running the show. Then we can say, "Stop! Switch drivers!" Put the dominant culture's values in the backseat (where yes, you might still hear them shouting at you to work harder or get thinner nut whre they can no longer drive) and put your own values in charge. Get this one-off coaching session for yourself or a friend, before January 5th, 2022.


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